Women and Honor: Some Notes on Lying

     Adrienne Rich was an admired poet and radical feminist from the 20^th century. Rich uses her essay Women and Honor: Some Notes on Lying to encourage women to stop depending on lies to make their lives better. In the essay Rich explains the complex relationship women have with lying and their need to protect themselves through lying.

     Rich explains to the reader that women use lying as a way to keep control of a situation. She writes, “she cannot desire a relationship without manipulation, since to be vulnerable to another person means for her the loss of control” (413). When someone manipulates another person they don’t allow themselves to develop a complete relationship with them. They always end up hiding something from the other person which results in them leading “an existence of great loneliness” (413). Rich tries to get the reader to realize that if they desire a true relationship with someone, romantic or platonic, they can’t have any lies between them or else the relationship won’t be able to live to its fullest potential.

     She mentions how women feel that lying helps them get away from a complex situation. She says, “lies are usually attempts to make everything simpler” (414). Rich uses the diction of ‘attempts’ to point out to the reader that lying doesn’t actually make things simpler. If anything it makes the situation way more complicated than it needs to be. Lies have to be remembered and followed through. If there are multiple lies, women have to make sure not to mix them up. Lying adds an unnecessary stress to life.

     The organization of Women and Honor: Some Notes on Lying helps Rich prove her purpose of women needing to realize how toxic lying is in their lives. She introduces a reason why people lie and then she explains how it inevitably stops any type of healthy relationship from occurring.  

Lying Ruins Relationships
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